Zarra Hatke, Zarra Bachke, Yeh hai Bombay meri jaan!!!

This is going to be an unabashed account of living in Mumbai, I wear my heart on my sleeve where this city is concerned...I love Mumbai !!!

Ae dil hai mushkil, jeena yahan,
Zarra Hatke, Zarra Bachke, Yeh hai Bombay meri jaan!!!

Johnny Walker has immortalised Mumbai(erstwhile Bombay) with these lines...I just want to chronicle a few aspects of Mumbai as I have seen it over the years...

1) The pedestrian is king
Q) Why does a Mumbaikar cross the road?
A) To prove to the world and car-driving population in general that he is king.
Have you ever seen a hardcore Mumbaikar cross the road? He will choose a spot where the traffic is especially bad and step right in the middle of it and put his hand out, something similar to a politician acknowledging the teeming crowds at a rally during election time and stop the oncoming car, no matter that the driver has to step on the brake and come to a squealing stop. Dare the driver glare at the pedestrian, all he gets in return is the equally dirty look which means how dare you drive the car, can’t you see I am crossing the road!!!

2) The city never sleeps
This is true...No matter at what time of the day or night, come rain or shine, there are always people around, you never feel alone, I remember returning late after attending the Kala Ghoda Festival, at something like 12.30 am there was a traffic jam at Andheri station !!!

3) Roads are just dried out river-beds waiting for the monsoons
Roads, especially the lanes and by-lanes, are nothing but glorified dried-out river beds waiting for the monsoons to turn them into torrential rivers. As Jerry Pinto once commented in his article in the Times, when the cuckoo watches the Public Works Department workers scampering around to fill the potholes before the onset of the Monsoons it laughs so hard that it falls off the tree. The situation is so bad that this year an enterprising Radio Station ran a contest with the grand prize being a boat!!!...The participants had to prove that the water logging problem in their area was so bad that they have no way to access their homes except by boat. Not sure which area won, but I am absolutely outraged that mine did not!!!

4) Walls are meant to be used as spittoons
Walls (especially the staircase ones) are meant to be used as spittoons for expectorating after eating paan. I am sure the paan-eater thinks he is contributing to the beauty of the city's landscape by spitting strategically at the walls. Frescos Mumbai style I say!!! I read somewhere that the first impressions foreigners have after seeing the red paan stained walls is that there must be loads of people dying of tuberculosis.

5) Train friends, Bus friends, Building friends, Office friends, School Friends, College friends etc..
All these categories of friends are only possible in Mumbai. School friends and College friends are self-explanatory hence I will not elaborate on them. The next set of friends is office friends, the colleagues who work alongside you, people with whom you actually spend more waking hours than with your family members. In Mumbai commuting is a big challenge, on an average you spend about two hours a day commuting to office and back. If you take the same train or bus at the same time over year, you meet familiar faces, get to know them, their entire family histories and they know yours. Friends who are there for you when you having a rough day to offer a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on. Friends who will save a seat for you if you come late, get worried and call you if you don’t turn up one day.

6) Life goes on...
No matter what happens the city bounces back!!! Come rains, bomb-blasts, riots or whatever is thrown at it, it is business as usual the next day. It is in a constant state of flux, the most enduring image of Mumbai is that of Churchgate station during peak hour, trains arriving every few minutes, scores of people getting in and out of trains, if that does not humble you, nothing will!!!

I could go on forever....