Random Questions!!!

Listed below are a few questions that torment me no end...I will be eternally indebted to anyone who can give me a satisfactory answer...

1) How does the Share Market work?

Do I really understand what is happening in the market... or does anyone other the ones with insider information understand it, OK to some extent the effect of global cues I understand, for e.g.: If US markets sneeze the SENSEX gets a cold, but the rest is as clear in my mind as murky water...as far as I see it, it swings one way and the next moment it swings the other way...much like what Navjot Singh Sidhu famously said...'Pitches are like wives, you never know which way they will turn'... I say this applies to the markets as well...honestly, come on show me one person who has never made losses and only minted money off the share market and I will clean his toilet for a month!!!

2) What fuels the hell fire?

Now really the hell fires have been going forever and no one ever heard the Devil complaining about fuel shortage!!! If somehow we could locate where exactly hell is and what fuels the place...fuel crisis will be a thing of the past!!!

3) If and when I go to hell and I am put in boiling oil to pay for my sins, what happens once I am fried to a crisp?

Come on anything that is put in boiling oil, even if it is slow fried, it has to turn to crisp at some point or the other, have you ever thought what happens after that...are they then removed from the flame, put on a conveyor belt which takes them to the packing department to be resent to somewhere ??

4) What was there before the Big Bang?

First a little background courtesy http://www.big-bang-theory.com/

The Big Bang theory is an effort to explain what happened at the very beginning of our universe. Discoveries in astronomy and physics have shown beyond a reasonable doubt that our universe did in fact have a beginning. Prior to that moment there was nothing; during and after that moment there was something: our universe.

I am quite OK with the Big Bang theory as the start of the Universe, I am totally with it but what I am not OK with is that space or “nothing” as this theory postulates just cannot go BANG, there has to be something that went BANG, now that I have said it that there was something that went BANG, what I want to know is whether the thing that went BANG was the only thing in existence at that point of time or was it a part of something even bigger, which in turn was part of something bigger and so on...

5) Why is everything that is good for health, bitter, tasteless and utterly unappetising?

I mean, honestly WHY can’t chocolate, cheese, white bread, sugar, fried stuff etc, do wonders for your heart and help maintain a trim figure( It goes without saying that I would have the world best figure if this were the case), WHY does KARELA, DUDHI etc, the thought of which effectively kills your appetite have to be beneficial ??

6) Why is it that when I do a wrong thing the whole world is watching, but when I do it right there are no spectators?

This is something that I really want an answer for, honest, how many times have you found yourself in a situation where you did something foolish and felt “Oh God, let the earth open up and swallow me!!” you had half the city population ogling at you, but when you did a kind and noble and I-deserve-to-go-to-heaven kind of act there are no spectators!!!

7) Why does the mobile phone with the worst and loudest ringtone always go off at a no mobile zone?

This is really something that I have observed, if I have been fidgeting with the mobile phone and set a really sad wailing kind of ringtone, that very day for some reason or other I will happen to be visiting a place where cell phones are not allowed and a long lost friend who has never called in over two years or worse a person who has dialled a wrong number will call me and my phone will have found its way to the most inaccessible part of my handbag!!!