Take That...

With age I guess I've become wiser and what surprises me is the fact that things that used to bother me in the past...just don't any more...Nirvana. Earlier situations that had me tongue tied have me making witty one liners about them. Its just that I've figure it drives people mental when I just agree with whatever nonsense they are saying when they are expecting a hurt look or a caustic repartee from me. It may sound cruel but I like to watch them squirm uncomfortably when I make a joke out of what was intended as a sarcastic jab at me.

While what I'm about to recount is not in the lines of what has been mentioned above, it comes close to it and is usually thrown at me by well meaning aunties and uncles.... you know what I'm driving at... yes, my unmarried status is something that people just can't digest. The way people go about it, is as if it is of national importance that I get married asap... or else... 

I figure the best way to silence these people is to say, "Yes auntie, sure I'll get married, please let me know if you know anyone!" and then follow up with them (I haven't reached the level of shamelessness to follow up, but I promise you, I'll get there...soon). After that there is a deafening silence from their end and people avoid you like plague and when you see them in the street they suddenly remember that they forgot something somewhere and turn around to go get it... just to avoid having to make small talk with you. Honestly, if only I had thought of this modus operandi earlier in life, I would have reached this Nirvana state much earlier...

The latest in the line of such encounters happened this evening when I ran into an auntie who lives in the next building. After the normal "hello beta, how are you doing?" she went onto the pet topic of aunties, "I  missed your sister's wedding as I was out of town, since I'm in town now I hope you get married soon so I can attend it!".

In the past if this happened I would have given the auntie a beatific smile and left it at it, and she would go on to the "Its OK beta, you will get married soon, its just not your time, but soon it will happen", and all I want to do is scream, "Do I look depressed to you, you MORON, I'm perfectly happy, or is it my happiness that you can't stand ???', but I would continue with the demure smile through the episode... but not now... now I'm a woman on a mission...

I replied "Yes Auntie, I pray that I get married soon so you can attend it while you're STILL AROUND". The look on the auntie's face was priceless... its confirmed, I've crossed over, I'm EVIL now...