2011 is finally coming to an end and it has been a landmark year of sorts for me...It has been a year of facing my fears head on, following my heart even at the risk of looking like an idiot, reconciliations, breaking old ties and forging new ones. It began with me returning to India on the 1st of January post my Employment Pass application being rejected, not a very good start so to speak and my life has practically been turned on its head this year...
This year has been all about change and revelations... for one I've become a lot mellower... the old me would have sulked fearfully and given an earful to Lax. for making me miss 20 minutes of the start the movie (refer previous posts), but I just shrugged the miss as "not important", the important thing being that we met after close to three years.
Finally realised kids and I don't belong in the same space. I've always thought I would like to have kids of my own, but fifteen minutes with kids is enough to put an end to my aspirations. Though holding baby A. in my arms remains the single most cherished moment of the year. A feeling very close to bliss enveloped me as she held on to me and drifted off to sleep. Babies up to a year old are OK, everything seems to go wrong after that... I'm at a total loss communication wise, kids these days are very smart, they scare the living daylights out of me, in comparison I think my generation used to be totally dumb bricks as kids. So I now agree with the powers up above that it is for the best, that things haven't worked out so far, unleashing my selfish self on some unsuspecting kid is the worst thing I could do. That said I've been thinking if the best way to overcome this fear of kids is spending more time with them, like taking up a teaching assignment or something where I get to interact with them on a daily basis and understanding them better, lets see what 2012 brings.
Here is a list of things that were positive during the year and that I care to share... the rest will go with me to my grave...
This year has been all about change and revelations... for one I've become a lot mellower... the old me would have sulked fearfully and given an earful to Lax. for making me miss 20 minutes of the start the movie (refer previous posts), but I just shrugged the miss as "not important", the important thing being that we met after close to three years.
Finally realised kids and I don't belong in the same space. I've always thought I would like to have kids of my own, but fifteen minutes with kids is enough to put an end to my aspirations. Though holding baby A. in my arms remains the single most cherished moment of the year. A feeling very close to bliss enveloped me as she held on to me and drifted off to sleep. Babies up to a year old are OK, everything seems to go wrong after that... I'm at a total loss communication wise, kids these days are very smart, they scare the living daylights out of me, in comparison I think my generation used to be totally dumb bricks as kids. So I now agree with the powers up above that it is for the best, that things haven't worked out so far, unleashing my selfish self on some unsuspecting kid is the worst thing I could do. That said I've been thinking if the best way to overcome this fear of kids is spending more time with them, like taking up a teaching assignment or something where I get to interact with them on a daily basis and understanding them better, lets see what 2012 brings.
Here is a list of things that were positive during the year and that I care to share... the rest will go with me to my grave...
1) Moved out to a new address - I've lived at my old address practically all my life...finally this year moved out...
2) My partner in crime, my inspiration, my confidante, my well-wisher number one... my sister, got married and life is much quieter now without her effervescent presence.
3) Lost oodles of weight, finally managed to lose over eight kgs and god knows how many inches... after all the trouble to do it, my mum says I look like a stick insect.
4) Packed my bags and went on a solo vacation to the US, hopefully the first of many more such vacations... cheers to that...
5) Finally decided to go back school, post completing the CA course, I went into a kind of coma study wise, this year I finally challenged the status quo and registered myself for a course that I've been meaning to do for a while. It is still early days, but as they say, baby steps, every little helps... it is not an easy course, but God knows I'm ready for it now...
Here's hoping the new year brings happiness and joy to all...
5) Finally decided to go back school, post completing the CA course, I went into a kind of coma study wise, this year I finally challenged the status quo and registered myself for a course that I've been meaning to do for a while. It is still early days, but as they say, baby steps, every little helps... it is not an easy course, but God knows I'm ready for it now...
Here's hoping the new year brings happiness and joy to all...
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