Have you any kids ???

I have finally learnt my lesson... I hereby declare that I am no longer a Miss Goody-Two-Shoe wannabe...good samaritan acts propounded by Moral Science classes in school will be a thing of the past ... This latest incident which was a consequence of my good-samaritan-saves-the-day-for-old-lady act has absolutely converted me!!!

So here goes.

As you know I travel by auto rickshaw (driving still scares the living daylights out of me). As I rule I offer lifts to people I know and sometimes to random strangers as well. This is because I know how difficult it is to get an auto rickshaw during peak hours and also because some drivers just shoot off like scalded cats when I tell them that I want to go to Powai, it makes me feel as if I just expressed a burning desire to go to hell and take them with me. I take it that this happens to everyone so I play good samaritan by offering lifts. The other reason being, it also helps silence my nagging conscience by auto rickshaw-pooling and doing my bit for the environment.

Last week I was running late for office and with great difficulty managed to convince an auto rickshaw driver to ferry me to Powai. Just as the we were turning onto the main road, I saw Mrs. C trying to get an rickshaw. Now, Mrs.C's daughter and I went to the same school. It is like I-know-her-she-does-not-know-me, (I mean Mrs.C does not know me), but the good Samaritan in me offered her a lift and thus began my ordeal. Firstly I had to change my route to suit her destination, this added another 15 minutes to my travel time, but I decided to endure it. Big mistake!!!

Mrs. C accepted the ride and also invited another lady who I assumed was travelling with her. It was later that I realised that it was a total stranger. There we were the three of us squashed in the back seat of the rickshaw. People who know Mumbai rickshaw will realise that even though three people are legally allowed to sit in it, it is far from comfortable and if one of them happens to be a well fed farex baby types like yours truly it can get very uncomfortable indeed!!!

Somehow we managed, and it was time for small talk.

Me: Hello Auntie, I went to school with Ms.C, she was one year ahead of me.
Mrs.C: Oh, I see, what is your name? I will tell Ms.C the next time she calls. Ms.C her two darling kids and husband live in Dubai.
Me: I am Sen, good to hear that Ms.C is well settled.
Mrs.C: Yes, all my kids are well settled, my other daughter is working for XYZ company and my son works for ABC Ltd. Nice paying jobs, but, no time, the lifestyle, eating habits, always running, always busy.
Me: Yes it can get busy at times.
Mrs. C: So, How are your kids?
Me (slightly taken aback): I don't have kids.
Mrs.C: How long have you been married?
Me (furious but keeping my calm): I am not married.
Mrs.C (with a perplexed look on her face): Ms. C got married five years ago, you also should get married, it is about time, you know.
Me (rather pointedly): I will get married when I meet the right man.

About five minutes, the other lady asked the driver to stop and got off and it dawned on me that she wasn't with Mrs. C after all.

All this while Mrs.C continued to chatter about the traffic, the dust, the pollution, how difficult it was to travel, her kids, etc while I pretended to give the traffic my undivided attention. I kept nodding at regular intervals and replying in monosyllables when it was not possible to get away with nods. Finally her destination arrived and she got off but signing off in her signature style.

Mrs.C: Thank you for the lift, What were the names of your kids again?? I will tell C about you.

At this point I was willing to throw her out of the rickshaw and if in the process a truck ran over her I would surely watch in glee.

Why can’t people listen to what other say, it looks like listening was out of question for this lady as she was busy singing paeans of her super achieving kids, whose main achievement was their marital status!!!

Why do people just assume that since you are a certain age, you have to be married and have a couple of kids!!!

The next time I meet an old lady in need of a rickshaw, I will look the other way and leaving the good samaritaning to someone else!!!

Moral Science teachings will have to be forgotten!!!

From Chaand Taare to Din mein Taare...

Just before the declaration of bonus and increments the feeling usually is something like"Chaand Taare Tod Laaooon.." post declaration the feeling normally is Din mein taare...

I have listed below a collection of Din Mein Taare episodes that I have heard over the years...where the employees are reduced to "Kya se kya ho gaya, socha kya kya mila, bewafa...etc ..etc"

1) Europe Dreams...
One day prior to declaration of bonus...
A : This year I am sure to get a good sum, planning to send my parents on a Europe tour.
B : Thats cool ya, all the best.
The next day, post the Bonus Declaration Meeting(BDM) with the Big Boss.
A : Forget Europe,with this bonus Kerala seems too expensive.
B : This is pre-tax, deduct 30% to arrive at the in hand number...
A (in a pained voice) : In which case a picnic to Madh Island is all I can afford...

2) Pappu di gaddi...
One day prior to declaration of bonus
A: With this years bonus I will buy a Kinetic scooter.
The next day, post the Bonus Declaration Meeting(BDM) with the Big Boss.
A:Forget the scooter, I will not be able to afford a tyre.

3) Tu Karm kar...
Overheard in the office corridor.
A: So what plans over the weekend ?
B: Arre yaar, my sister is very depressed about the peanuts handed out to her post appraisal, will have to take her shopping or something to cheer her a bit...
A: Yeah, thats a good plan, you might need someone to cheer you once our bonuses and increments are declared.

Of fruit vendors, painting the house and injections!!

All things remaining equal, if my mom and sis have their way, our friendly neighbourhood fruit vendor or his wholesale supplier will soon be painting our house and giving us shots(not vodka shots silly, the medical kind, commonly know as injections).

OK, I see the bewildered expressions jostling for space with concern-for-my-sanity kind of looks on your faces. Background coming up.

As we all know in this day and age of genetically modified and enchanced everything (fruits and vegetables included). It is strongly suspected that the sweetness and colouring of fruits are tampered with. With rumors doing the rounds that they actually use paint to enhance the appeal and inject artifical sweetners into fruits.

While we were having high tea today, yeah we still suffer from this Raj hangover, though scones and cakes are replaced by sheera and chips fried in coconut oil. We were discussing the "chinese" apples and papaya palmed off by the vendor to my dad. The apples looked good, juicy and rosy though they tasted like cardboard. My sister commented that the colouring job was absolutely perfect, the supplying agent has outdone himself. To which my mom retorted that maybe we should give them the contract to paint our house this year, such talent should be tapped and nurtured. It would be a crime to see all that talent go to waste, a lifetime spent painting only fruits, sacrilege!!!

My mom then went on to do a small skit featuring the fruit vendor and herself having a conversation.

Mom: "Bhaiya, is saal aap hamara ghar ko paint karneka contract lijiye.."
Bhaiyya(flustered and blubbering): "Main ???, Nahi, main to bas mamuli seb bechne wala hoon."
Mom: "Arre wah, yeh kya baat hui, aap itna accha colour lagate hai sebon ko, ghar toh kamaal rang denge!!"

My sister and I were practically rolling on the floor laughing.

Not to be outdone my sister goes one step further. She goes "While we are at it, maybe we should also consider getting our immunity shots from them, they are super experienced after injecting the water melons and papayas with colour and artifical sweetners."

See I am very sane but there is some sense in this after all, isnt it???

Theory

I have a theory. There is nothing like fluke, everything just fits into the grand plan of things. Just before we are born, up in heaven each of us is sent to a kind of big department store, much like the time before school reopens for another glorious year, where, you have to buy books, uniforms, shoes, etc...

In the heavenly department store you decide the happiness, sorrow, challenges, experiences, etc, down to the smallest task you will perform whilst on earth. While you live your life on earth back in heaven they keep track of the smallest detail of the number of tasks you perform in your day to day life. Yeah they have filing cabinets filled choc-a-bloc with details of all the good/Bad deeds you did.

For e.g.: the smallest thing like the number of plates you wash, the number of clothes you wash, the number of times you run errands for others, the numbers of times you cheated, number of times you hurt someone etc, this is all match against the number you picked before being born.

Then based on your performance you are progressed to the next level in life. Still working on this theory... will come back and post some more :)

The Breakup

My first attempt at fiction...let me know what you think.

She: "Is there an us or am I imagining a little too much ??... I am confused and really need to know."

He: "Us in the sense??"

She : "You know what, I read something the other day, Things are to be used and People are to be loved, but the sad reality is that People are used and Things loved..."

He: "What do you mean by that statement?"

She: "All I want is a straight answer to my question, I am getting emotionally involved and need to know if there is something, else I need to step back right now."

He: "Night is to forget the bad, remember the good, and await the happenning of tommorrow. Happy end to the day."

She: "Fine, I am not in the mood for poetry, and I am through with this treatment, happy end to everything."

He: "Wish you the same, btw, the hardest thing to express is the simplest of all...affection."

She: "All I need is an answer to my question."

He: "What question??"

She: "This has got to stop, just spare me."

He : "Spared."

She: "Don't call me anymore."

He: "Dont worry, I won't."

She: "Why did it have to end like this, were you never serious about us for even a moment?"

He: "Who proclaimed the end, me or you?"

She: "I can't take this insecurity any more..."

He: "I am always there for you when you need me."

She: "As a friend or something more, just spit it out, don't worry about my feelings, thats my problem."

He: "What should I say..."

She: "Yes or No, let me be in peace once and for all..."

He: "Peace be unto you, thats what they say in church."

She: "Fine, Sorry for taking up so much of your time, it is clear that you see me only are a friend and nothing more and I just can't be your friend."

He: "As you wish."

Book Review: Right Fit Wrong Shoe!!!

I was at Crossword, Powai recently drooling over all the books. Actually I was just supposed to be giving my colleague company while she picked out her Secret Santa gift, but ended up buying a whole load of books myself. My credit card is actually 30% thinner than what it was at the time the bank sent it over to me. I am sure it is the most used (abused??) card this side of the Atlantic!!!

Anyways I digress; the best books I have picked out have been courtesy The Times of India, Book review section. I liked the review for "Right Fit, Wrong Shoe", it seemed like a good story and a light read and made a mental note to pick this book up on my next visit to Crossword. To cut a long story short I purchased the book and I can honestly say it is the best Rs.95/- I have spent. The book reviews which have gone so far as to say "If you are having a good day 'Right 'Fit Wrong Shoe will make it better, if the day's bad it won't get any worse." are 100% sach aur sach ke siwa kuch bhi nahi, melord!!!. This is a book that you can read when you are low and could use some cheering. Ask me I was sat back at home with nothing to do on New Year’s Eve and decided to read this book. I read it from cover and cover and was grinning like a Cheshire cat when I put it down.

The book is funny from the word go. The witty dialogues and fast pace make this a page turner. The relationships are very delicately explored, the zingers exchanged by the lead pair (Aditya and Nandini) absolutely rock. The bond shared by Nandini and Sneha (her chuddy buddy) a true reflection of how women bond and stick for one another. This story warms the heart as it is set in contemporary times and reflects the society as it is now, where modernisation jostles for space with tradition, so much so that it could be a page out of anyones life.

If you could use a light read, go ahead and buy your copy!!!

Mangalorean Chicken Curry (Gassi)

This is my mums recipe :)) I made it from scratch today and it tasted absolutely fabulous, I am sure it turned out well because mum kept hovering in the kitchen while I made it!!


Ingredients

200 gms boneless chicken ( I prefer boneless chicken)
1 onion ( finely chopped)
2 tbsps ghee

For the red masala
6 dried chillies ( 3 kashmir and 3 bedgi) (roasted)
1 tbsp coriander seeds (roasted)
tamrind paste ( as per taste)
1 tsp turmeric powder

For the white masala
1/2 coconut (scrapped)
6 pepper corns (roasted)
10-15 fenugreek seeds
4 cloves of garlic
1 tsp of cumin seeds
1/2 small onion

Method:

1) Heat a pan and put in the scrapped coconut, keep tossing to ensure that it does not burn. Fry it till all the moisture evaporates.

2) Put the ingredients for the red masala in a mixie, add some water and blitz it till it turns into a fine paste.

3) Clean and cut the chicken into small peices and marinate it in the red masala for about 15-20 minutes.

4) Heat the ghee in a thick bottomed pan, add the chopped onion, fry till it turns crisp and brown.

5) Add the marinated chicken, cover and let it cook on high for about five minutes.

6) Add salt and let it cook on simmer till nicely done.

7) For the white masala, grind the roasted coconut to a fine paste.

8) Add the onion, fenugreek seeds, pepper corn and garlics and cumin seeds and grinds till all the ingredients are mixed well. (Ensure that you do not grind for a long time after you add these ingredients as it loses it aroma or some such thing(will check with my mom and let you know, a quick turn should suffice. Hence always add these only once you are satisfied that the coconut is reduced to a fine paste).

9) Add the white masala to the chicken and let it come to a boil.

10) Simmer and cook till done.

11) Serve with rice, sliced bread or chappati.