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Monday, 19 July 2010
Friday, 2 July 2010
Movie Review : I hate luv storys
I understand a little background is required as to how yours truly who is not an avid movie buff ended up watching this dud on the FIRST DAY of its release. V a temp staff allotted to us whilst one of our permanent staff was off on maternity leave, moves to another team on Monday. At a little over twenty-three she is the baccha of our team and as a token of our appreciation we took her out for a movie. Another reason to go for a movie on work night being - the guys in the team were going to watch a football match (Brazil v Netherlands) at some posh place which boasted of a large screen and complimentary food and drinks, so we girls decided to go out as well!! Mid-way through the movie I was wishing I had accepted the guys invite to go watch the match, at least I could have supported my team Brazil and ensured they went through to the semis. Brazil seem to have found out that I have deserted camp for a lack-lustre dud and the team lost hope and crashed out of the World Cup!!! I digress, but to be honest you are not missing much on the movie story front...as surprise, surprise...there is no story. OK, I will try to reign in my sarcasm, let the movie review begin...
Cast: Sonam Kapoor, Imran Khan
Duration: An eternity...
Music : Uninspiring
Background Music: Seemed to be conspicuously missing at most places...
Story: MIA (for the uninitiated -Missing in Action)
Dialogues: Apparently too many dialogues for Imran to handle and too few for Sonam
OK so we have Jay (pronounced as J) (Imran Khan) who doesn't believe in love. At this point I would like to say J's character is that of a thoroughly messed up brat. Here we have a guy, who has run away from home for reasons unknown, hates love stories and to top it all is working as Assistant to a Director who only makes love stories!!! The man is on a mission to punish himself for whatever wrong he has done in his past 25-26 years of existence on this planet. He hates love stories, treats women like dirt, drinks like a fish, is tardy at his job(for he hates it, point noted) but, Veer, his boss (Sameer Soni) does not seem to have the heart to fire him. to be honest I would have fired him in a heartbeat. After all this in the later half of the film he also says something about wanting to go to film school. I am like why ???, what makes you want to go to film school when for the past two hours all you have done at the film set is roll your eyes at the scenes being enacted and pretend to throw up when anything closely related to love is in your vicinity. If you so hated what you did, why work in a place where you are obviously learning nothing, move on...work for a Director who makes the kind of films you would like to make yourself. This is like a wannabe goldsmith working for a blacksmith using the logic "I am learning the tricks of the trade, both use hammers!!!"
Enter Simran (Sonam Kapoor) who loves everything about Love stories, come on the woman seems to reads Erich Seagal's love story every night. How she manages to get any sleep on a bed cluttered with chocolates, flowers, books and the like is a mystery to me...but she does and wakes up every morning looking radiant, heavenly and peaceful as ever, I would be puffy faced, with dark circles and irritable as hell!!! Her life is perfect, she is engaged to the love of her life, loves her job as the Art Director who makes sets for love story films!!! This woman sure made the right choices in heaven before embarking on her journey to earth. Though the lovey-dovey romance with Raj (Sameer Dattani) is a little OTT, what with him sending her flowers everyday and dressing up in the same colors!!
However, opposites attract and we have Simran falling in love with bad boy J, at the cost of wrecking her perfect paradise. The movie is a parade of scenes from bollywood hit movies like DDLJ, K3G etc, all woven together and thrown at us with a "we are making a film within this film, remember" and we were going "Eeww", "How stupid", "Man, what was the director, thinking??", "Will you please say yes, so that all of us can go home" etc, etc,
Even when J professes his love the first time, the dialogue delivery is so flat, it seemed like J is mocking Simran. No wonder she dumped him!!! If you are looking for good clean fun film to watch with your family, this is not the movie for you as it has too many adult jokes which may leave you squirming in you seat. After what seemed like an eternity the movie finally ended and all four of us swore never to watch a movie on its first day, we would wait for the reviews to come in, not the ones published in the tabloids silly, the ones given by other unfortunates who paid their khoon-passine ki kamai for the tickets!!!
My dream cast for this film would have been Konkona Sen and Rahul Bose who would have set the screen on fire...if wishes were horses...
Note: The season of duds continue...if you hate someone from the bottom of your heart, gush about how good this movie is and once they are safely inside the theatre you can rest assured that your bad deed of the day is taken care of as you would have successfully wasted at least two hours of their life.
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Movie Review
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