Of fruit vendors, painting the house and injections!!

All things remaining equal, if my mom and sis have their way, our friendly neighbourhood fruit vendor or his wholesale supplier will soon be painting our house and giving us shots(not vodka shots silly, the medical kind, commonly know as injections).

OK, I see the bewildered expressions jostling for space with concern-for-my-sanity kind of looks on your faces. Background coming up.

As we all know in this day and age of genetically modified and enchanced everything (fruits and vegetables included). It is strongly suspected that the sweetness and colouring of fruits are tampered with. With rumors doing the rounds that they actually use paint to enhance the appeal and inject artifical sweetners into fruits.

While we were having high tea today, yeah we still suffer from this Raj hangover, though scones and cakes are replaced by sheera and chips fried in coconut oil. We were discussing the "chinese" apples and papaya palmed off by the vendor to my dad. The apples looked good, juicy and rosy though they tasted like cardboard. My sister commented that the colouring job was absolutely perfect, the supplying agent has outdone himself. To which my mom retorted that maybe we should give them the contract to paint our house this year, such talent should be tapped and nurtured. It would be a crime to see all that talent go to waste, a lifetime spent painting only fruits, sacrilege!!!

My mom then went on to do a small skit featuring the fruit vendor and herself having a conversation.

Mom: "Bhaiya, is saal aap hamara ghar ko paint karneka contract lijiye.."
Bhaiyya(flustered and blubbering): "Main ???, Nahi, main to bas mamuli seb bechne wala hoon."
Mom: "Arre wah, yeh kya baat hui, aap itna accha colour lagate hai sebon ko, ghar toh kamaal rang denge!!"

My sister and I were practically rolling on the floor laughing.

Not to be outdone my sister goes one step further. She goes "While we are at it, maybe we should also consider getting our immunity shots from them, they are super experienced after injecting the water melons and papayas with colour and artifical sweetners."

See I am very sane but there is some sense in this after all, isnt it???

Theory

I have a theory. There is nothing like fluke, everything just fits into the grand plan of things. Just before we are born, up in heaven each of us is sent to a kind of big department store, much like the time before school reopens for another glorious year, where, you have to buy books, uniforms, shoes, etc...

In the heavenly department store you decide the happiness, sorrow, challenges, experiences, etc, down to the smallest task you will perform whilst on earth. While you live your life on earth back in heaven they keep track of the smallest detail of the number of tasks you perform in your day to day life. Yeah they have filing cabinets filled choc-a-bloc with details of all the good/Bad deeds you did.

For e.g.: the smallest thing like the number of plates you wash, the number of clothes you wash, the number of times you run errands for others, the numbers of times you cheated, number of times you hurt someone etc, this is all match against the number you picked before being born.

Then based on your performance you are progressed to the next level in life. Still working on this theory... will come back and post some more :)

The Breakup

My first attempt at fiction...let me know what you think.

She: "Is there an us or am I imagining a little too much ??... I am confused and really need to know."

He: "Us in the sense??"

She : "You know what, I read something the other day, Things are to be used and People are to be loved, but the sad reality is that People are used and Things loved..."

He: "What do you mean by that statement?"

She: "All I want is a straight answer to my question, I am getting emotionally involved and need to know if there is something, else I need to step back right now."

He: "Night is to forget the bad, remember the good, and await the happenning of tommorrow. Happy end to the day."

She: "Fine, I am not in the mood for poetry, and I am through with this treatment, happy end to everything."

He: "Wish you the same, btw, the hardest thing to express is the simplest of all...affection."

She: "All I need is an answer to my question."

He: "What question??"

She: "This has got to stop, just spare me."

He : "Spared."

She: "Don't call me anymore."

He: "Dont worry, I won't."

She: "Why did it have to end like this, were you never serious about us for even a moment?"

He: "Who proclaimed the end, me or you?"

She: "I can't take this insecurity any more..."

He: "I am always there for you when you need me."

She: "As a friend or something more, just spit it out, don't worry about my feelings, thats my problem."

He: "What should I say..."

She: "Yes or No, let me be in peace once and for all..."

He: "Peace be unto you, thats what they say in church."

She: "Fine, Sorry for taking up so much of your time, it is clear that you see me only are a friend and nothing more and I just can't be your friend."

He: "As you wish."

Book Review: Right Fit Wrong Shoe!!!

I was at Crossword, Powai recently drooling over all the books. Actually I was just supposed to be giving my colleague company while she picked out her Secret Santa gift, but ended up buying a whole load of books myself. My credit card is actually 30% thinner than what it was at the time the bank sent it over to me. I am sure it is the most used (abused??) card this side of the Atlantic!!!

Anyways I digress; the best books I have picked out have been courtesy The Times of India, Book review section. I liked the review for "Right Fit, Wrong Shoe", it seemed like a good story and a light read and made a mental note to pick this book up on my next visit to Crossword. To cut a long story short I purchased the book and I can honestly say it is the best Rs.95/- I have spent. The book reviews which have gone so far as to say "If you are having a good day 'Right 'Fit Wrong Shoe will make it better, if the day's bad it won't get any worse." are 100% sach aur sach ke siwa kuch bhi nahi, melord!!!. This is a book that you can read when you are low and could use some cheering. Ask me I was sat back at home with nothing to do on New Year’s Eve and decided to read this book. I read it from cover and cover and was grinning like a Cheshire cat when I put it down.

The book is funny from the word go. The witty dialogues and fast pace make this a page turner. The relationships are very delicately explored, the zingers exchanged by the lead pair (Aditya and Nandini) absolutely rock. The bond shared by Nandini and Sneha (her chuddy buddy) a true reflection of how women bond and stick for one another. This story warms the heart as it is set in contemporary times and reflects the society as it is now, where modernisation jostles for space with tradition, so much so that it could be a page out of anyones life.

If you could use a light read, go ahead and buy your copy!!!